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Lokifan
I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
Well-Established 
20th-May-2010 05:12 pm
Draco wants to be cool
Title: Well-Established
Word count: ~500
Characters/pairings: Draco and the Slytherins, fantasies of Padma/Parvati/Fred/George
Rating: R
Summary: Draco has a Twin Thing.
Warnings: twincest fantasies, fourteen-year-old wanking, my inability to stop mocking teenage boys
Disclaimer: The boys and girls belong to JKR, even though I’m often much nicer to them than she is.
Author’s Notes: This was written for this week’s sortinghatdrabs competition; the prompt was we understand, and both the Patil twins and the Weasley twins had to feature. I was runner-up – the banner’s under the cut. :)





“Padma Patil,” Draco said. “Or possibly Parvati. Or both.” The other Slytherins burst out laughing, and he gave them the best Malfoy Glare a practically-fifteen-year-old could muster. “What? Twins are hot! It’s not weird, it’s a well-established kink!”

“We understand,” Pansy giggled, sharing an amused look with Greg. Draco huffed and slumped back against his battered armchair, crossing his arms.

“Mock me then. You’ll be sorry when I have a twin harem!”

“I won’t,” Vince retorted. “I’m going to have triplets.”

Everybody left off teasing Draco in favour of teasing Vince, as God intended. Unfortunately this didn’t last long.

“So what’s your plan?” Tracy asked. “Going to go up to Padma and ask if she’s ever wanted to have sex with her sister?”

Greg said, “didn’t she go to the Yule Ball with Weasley?” Draco’s mouth opened in soundless indignation. “She’s not going to go for you if that’s her type, is she? Weasley’s tall.”

“You’re dead to me, Goyle!” Draco threw a crumpled Bertie Botts packet at him to underline his bitter hatred. He was tall! It was just that Greg and Vince were giants.

He was a bit taller than Potter, anyway, which was all that mattered.

“Speaking of Weasleys,” Blaise said with a wicked look, “did you hear about those twins?”

“What, that they’re blackmailing Bagman? Old news.”

“Nope... that they could set Draco up nicely with his little kink.”

Draco’s eyes widened and his stomach clenched. “Merlin.”

“No way,” said Pansy. “You’re just hoping another family will be more known for sexual deviance than yours.”

Blaise glowered, but after the breathless reports in Witch Weekly about the circumstances of his latest stepfather’s death he didn’t have a leg to stand on. And Draco didn’t care about this. “Are you serious? They’re fucking?”

“Daily and nightly and ever so wrongly.”

There was more spluttering, while Draco stayed quiet. If he spoke, he’d give himself away; so he curled up more in his armchair and blamed his flush on the fire.

That night, he closed his eyes and thought of it. The Weasley twins, loud and rude, encountering the giggly, beautiful Padma and Parvati. Offering to show them what they’d been missing. Padma would tilt her head, narrow her dark eyes and remain silent, inviting them to say more. Parvati would giggle, flushing, at their crude terms – reach for her sister’s hand. George would splutter to a stop, and Padma would kiss him. Before long they’d all be naked, shifting and choosing, not knowing who was who –

Or! Perhaps the Weasley twins would grab Draco, tell him he was going to learn not to be rude to them. He squirmed against the serviceable school sheets. They’d take him off to the Room of Requirement, and Padma would have a length of robe and a wicked smile. Parvati would –

Cleaned up and smiling afterwards, Draco felt terribly grown-up. He had a proper fetish now. He bet Potter didn’t have any fetishes.


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Comments 
20th-May-2010 08:26 pm (UTC)
LMAO, hilarious!
I love this. especially the last line bahaha
great job and congrats on winning runner up :)
21st-May-2010 02:01 am (UTC)
:D Thank you very much!
(Deleted comment)
21st-May-2010 09:57 am (UTC)
*\o/* I made someone laugh in RL!

Thank you!
22nd-May-2010 09:39 am (UTC)
XD I love, through it all, he's still comparing himself to Harry. Makes me happy.
The whole thing is funny though, and clever. The dynamics of the group seem simple, but may not be as obvious as we think, amIright?
Vince coming in to defend Draco/bodyguard? [Again, I may be overthinking this. XD It is only 10.38am, and I'm usually not coherent at this time of day! :P]

But wooooooo! for the twincest-y!sex. I know how much you dislike the twins, after all. But this? I could get used to this! ;D
22nd-May-2010 02:54 pm (UTC)
:) I totally think he was doing this in canon - as Harry often did - and it's ADORABLE. Thank you!

I don't really see Crabbe and Goyle as bodyguards, just protective friends - despite what happens in the ROR, they are teenage boys who turn into GIRLS to help Draco after Lucius is imprisoned. I don't really think there's much canon back-up for the 'bodyguard' interpretation, despite Harry's POV! - Not this is actually an argument with the defending-Draco interpretation, I just have Thoughts.

LOL. NO MORE TWINCEST.
23rd-May-2010 05:26 pm (UTC)
This is great - especially the ending!! Heh, love it! ;)
24th-May-2010 11:42 am (UTC)
:D Thank you, babe!
10th-Jul-2010 06:41 am (UTC)
The thought of Draco having a fetish for twincest just tickles me to no end.
10th-Jul-2010 01:05 pm (UTC)
:D I AM SO EASILY AMUSED.
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