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Lokifan
I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
Trapped 
21st-May-2010 03:12 am
Converse: black
Title: Trapped
Word count: 500
Characters/pairings: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG
Summary: Draco is punished for his hate speech.
Warnings: angst, switching POVs (at the drabble breaks)
Disclaimer: The boys belong to JKR, even though I’m often much nicer to them than she is.
Author’s Notes: This was written for the silence prompt at hd100. By the end I think this is the saddest situation I’ve ever put the boys in, if not the saddest fic I’ve ever written.


“What about free speech?” Granger had shouted at the Minister, but Draco’s speech had been taken from him and trapped: drawn from his lungs, up his throat, taking his air with it. The light that used to be his voice was put inside an unbreakable jar and hidden in the depths of the department of mysteries.

They said he was dangerous, he was a risk to the state, he’d committed hate speech. Pansy screamed at them, a virtuoso in diatribe, and Granger yelled about rights and precedent. Draco sat chained in the Wizengamot chair, and couldn’t make himself speak.

Sentenced.

~*~

The day the sentence was carried out, Harry was there outside Draco’s holding cell. Draco looked exhausted, his eyes blurred. His hand was cold and shaking as Harry held it.

Draco was obviously trying to keep calm. They took him into the dark room, with Hermione – his lawyer – and Harry, who wasn’t meant to be there but wouldn’t leave.

When the woman came at him, Draco screamed. The horrible, hoarse noise reverberated round the room, Draco’s blinding terror making itself horribly known. Harry choked on tears: he shouldn’t be standing here, doing nothing when his lover was screaming like that.

~*~

Then the scream stopped. Draco’s mouth was still open, horribly, and the Unspeakable – her face untouched by Draco’s screaming – was drawing a little light out of it.

She screwed the top onto a jar, and the light was gone.

Draco moved his mouth, his pale throat working. Nothing came out. The fear in his face was blind, unthinking. Animal.

It broke Harry’s heart when the shackles were removed. They didn’t consider Draco a threat any more. He was helpless.

The love inside him seared his chest. He waited desperately for Draco to look at him – to reach for him. “Sweetheart.”

~*~


We live our lives trapped in a swathe of silence. I try not to talk too much: it feels like sacrilege, working my vocal cords and tongue to communicate while he sits in white-faced, gagged shock.

I gagged him once, when we were lovers in the first flush of peace. I have nightmares about it now: about him crying and begging through the cloth.

I love him beyond anything, though. I will never abandon him. I don’t say “I love you” now, but I cuddle him after sex when it feels right to be quiet, and I’m sure he knows.

~*~

He doesn’t tell me he loves me any more.

He barely says anything, actually; he thinks it will hurt me more. He’s right, but it just adds to the weight. I never worried about being a burden to anyone before this, but – I can’t do most magic, or tell him I love him out loud.

I’m not me any more. ‘Draco’ meant being snarky, doing impressions, insulting people, never shutting up. This ghost isn’t anyone Harry could fall in love with.

And still I stay, because I can’t bear to stop clinging. And I always will.

I hope he doesn’t know that I know.


joomla visitor

Comments 
21st-May-2010 02:19 am (UTC)
O-Oh my goodness I loved that! ;.; It was sad, and yet I loved it so much. Kind of want more of this verse! ♥

Very good! Enjoyed it thoroughly!
21st-May-2010 10:06 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the lovely comment! I'm considering revising this into a proper fic, actually.
21st-May-2010 11:58 am (UTC)
That would be great! It's a lovely little plot bunny. I say green-light this baby. B)
21st-May-2010 02:24 am (UTC)
*cries*
You're an evil bitch! How can you write soething so sad, and yet so touching? Poor Draco!! :(

I demand a sequel!
21st-May-2010 10:04 am (UTC)
LOL, because I am bad and mean, and revising?

Hmm. I doubt I'll have time, but I'm considering expanding this into a proper fic... which may or may not have a happier ending!
21st-May-2010 02:45 am (UTC)
*heart breaks*

Edited at 2010-05-21 02:46 am (UTC)
21st-May-2010 10:03 am (UTC)
YAY!

*is mean*
21st-May-2010 06:20 am (UTC)
Short but lovely. I really want it to carry on and have Harry go back to telling Draco he loves him!
21st-May-2010 10:07 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm considering revising it into a proper fic... whether that would end any more happily is a separate question, of course. :P
21st-May-2010 08:20 am (UTC)
Oh my, that is so terribly sad and yes I agree one of the 'saddest situations' I've seen you put the boys in, but saying that, it is incredible, you've conveyed everyone's shock and dismay so perfectly. This is just an amazing piece of work. Loved it.
21st-May-2010 10:08 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! What a great comment.
21st-May-2010 09:43 am (UTC)
That's devastating. :( Truly sad.

I can't help but wonder what Draco said to receive such a horrible punishment.
21st-May-2010 10:10 am (UTC)
I knooow! I am quite shocked myself.

I reckon it's an overreacty post-war world, and he got all Mudblood-y.
21st-May-2010 04:02 pm (UTC)
so sad...
22nd-May-2010 01:05 am (UTC)
Aww, I know! Thanks for commenting.
21st-May-2010 05:50 pm (UTC)
Oh I love this. I hope there will be more. Wonderful job.
22nd-May-2010 01:02 am (UTC)
Thank you! We'll see about more. :)
21st-May-2010 05:53 pm (UTC)
You have to fix this!
22nd-May-2010 01:04 am (UTC)
*grins* I do not. I can leave them there like this forever, Harry staying and loving while Draco silently dies inside, thinking Harry no longer loves him.

...I suppose I might fix it.
22nd-May-2010 09:34 am (UTC)
That is heartbreaking.
The switching POVs work really well, and the things you manage to convey through their words is amazing, loki. *sighs*
Hermione and Pansy sound indignant and pissed off and they're desperately trying to make it right, though you know they know it's not possible, because Hermione is working up an attack on the sentence, not a defense, and Pansy can't contain herself as she screams at them.
And Harry is trying so hard to maintain what used to be even though it's all different, not saying "I love you" and thinking it's because it'll hurt Draco that he can't say it back, but it's because it would hurt him much more than it ever would Draco, who is slowly getting used to this constant silence - getting used to it, but is still far from accepting it.
*sighs again*
What gets to me is that though Draco does love Harry, he doesn't see himself in terms of same love as he sees Harry. Because he's a "ghost", he doesn't think Harry can be with him for who is he is, a shadow of what he used to be.

You know what? I'm over thinking this.
It's a great story, loki. Quite creepy - especially for someone who tends to use/rely on her voice as much as I do and is always freaked out when she loses it - but an excellent idea.
22nd-May-2010 02:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! And YAY, because that is just what I was going for! With all of them! *bows to your powers of interpretation*

Poor Draco. :( Silence is both helplessness and a fantastic metaphor for wider helplessness and lack of identity/soul, and obviously in the wizarding world, with its mostly spoken spells, that's just amplified. I may well revise this into a proper fic.

Because it's TOTALLY CREEPY as an idea :) And I want to work with that!
23rd-May-2010 05:31 pm (UTC)
Heartwrenching angst. Love this very much!
24th-May-2010 11:39 am (UTC)
:D Thanks!
23rd-May-2010 11:43 pm (UTC)
Continue!!!!
24th-May-2010 11:39 am (UTC)
:) We'll see. Thanks for commenting!
10th-Jul-2010 06:46 am (UTC)
This is very touching and heartbreaking, and I love the connection made between being gagged for pleasure and being gagged metaphorically.
11th-Jul-2010 01:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Poor boys :(
(Deleted comment)
9th-Aug-2011 07:34 am (UTC)
:( I am very mean to him sometimes!
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