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Lokifan
I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
Ron/Draco drabbles 
7th-Apr-2011 10:36 am
ron/draco
Hi guys! Still buried under a pile of essay - anachronisms and T. H. White, masculinity in Victorian Gothic fiction, they haunt my dreams - but here are the (hopefully) comic drabbles I wrote for the Ron/Draco drabble-a-thon.

Consider them all disclaimed :)

Title: An Enormous Talent
Word count: 300
Rating: light R
Summary: Ron likes to sing in the shower.
Warnings: none
Author’s Notes: This was written for entrenous88’s prompt “Ron actually has a lovely singing voice.”


Ron shut his eyes against the sting of cheap shampoo and kept singing, enjoying the echoes of his voice around the Quidditch changing rooms; they made his voice sound deep and loud and impressive, like a grown man instead of a seventeen-year-old who couldn’t catch a Quaffle. “Oh I may not be a whiz on the Quidditch pitch, but I’m chased over town by every witch, who knows that I’m a legend in the changing room, because I’ve got an enormous - “

“No need to show off.”

Ron swiped the foam off his face and turned, grinning guiltily. “Hi Draco.”

~*~

Thirty-five minutes later, Ron emerged from the changing rooms with Draco pressed against his side. Draco was giggling, and the smell of his damp hair was intoxicating, and -

Ron stopped. “Harry.”

Harry was changed from practice, and fidgeting. “I wanted to talk about strategies for the next game against Slytherin.”

“Please, go right ahead,” Draco said cheerily. “I’ll just stand here unobtrusively until you’ve finished.”

Ron tried to subtly elbow him.

“Shut up, Malfoy,” Harry scowled, reddening. “Don’t think I don’t know what you were doing in there.”

Ron blushed while Draco gave his dirtiest grin. “What ever do you mean?”

~*~

“You were - with him! - distracting him.”

“I was not,” said Draco. Ron started praying that soon this conversation would end. Or that Hermione would come. “Ron was distracting me from my dastardly spying on Gryffindors’ Quidditch practice. He was in the shower - “

Draco - “

“Singing,” Draco finished. “Ron actually has a lovely singing voice.”

“...Oh.”

“He’s got an enormous talent,” Draco said, grinning as Harry got paler and paler. “Really enjoyable, it goes so deep. You should ask him to show you some time.”

“Hey! My talents are only for you.”

“I know.” Draco kissed him.


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Title: They Did Not Cover This In Teacher Training
Word count: 200
Rating: PG
Summary: Severus Snape is not paid enough for this.
Warnings: sex switch
Author’s Notes: This was written for ellensmithee’s prompt potions accident.


Severus was in a bad mood. He was often in a bad mood, but generally he kept his students cowed enough not to push him.

This particular class of fifth years, however, involved one boy confident in Severus’ favouritism, and another too furious to retain what few brains he had. Said boys were currently snarling at each other over their cauldrons.

“Sod off, Malfoy, it’s got nothing to do with you - “

“Wanting to keep your dangerous liasons with Potter private, then?”

“Just because you’ve got no real friends - “

Malfoy moved like a striking snake, throwing something, and Weasley’s cauldron exploded.

~*~

Screams burst from the class at the noise: today’s potion wasn’t even noxious, unlike Malfoy, but paranoia generally served students well around exploding cauldrons.

Severus merely sighed and waited for the smoke to dissipate.

When it did, Weasley was still standing there, gaping but himself. He did, however, look rather more like his sister.

“I’m going to kill you, Malfoy!”

“Mmm,” Malfoy responded, staring.

Severus wondered if going to Azkaban for Death Eating would have been so much worse than teaching adolescents magic.

“Go and borrow a bra, Weasley, before Mr Malfoy’s eyes fall out of his head.”

Title: Vertical Desire
Word count: 300
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Malfoy teaches Ron about the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
Author’s Notes: This was written for entrenous88’s prompt ballroom dancing.


“Long, arduous, painful weeks of practice have yielded a passable waltz, Weasley. True, my toes may never be the same again - ”

“They can get more painful, you know,” Ron felt his ears go red. Just because stupid Malfoy could stand there in pale grey robes and look all cool and long-limbed while Ron was overheated and clumsy, and could let Ron lead so easily like dancing any way should be easy -

“But you’re there with the waltz. Enough for the Ministry, anyway.”

“I am? So we’re finished?” Ron was almost pleased at the thought of not seeing Malfoy any more.

~*~

“No. I’m teaching you the tango.”

Ron blinked. “I. Oh. Well.”

Malfoy snorted. “Eloquent as ever. Dancing should suit you: it’s communication without speech.” He poked Ron’s arms until Ron lifted them, allowing Malfoy to slip into Ron’s (anxious, slightly sweaty, mortifyingly turned on) embrace. “Your body speaks for you.”

Malfoy began instructing Ron on how to move. He was a little flushed but composed and oh-so-elegant. Ron resented it: resented how Malfoy could move with him easily. He trusted his weight to Ron’s arms as though it was automatic for him to believe that Ron wouldn’t let him fall.

~*~

“Isn’t this - ”Ron’s breath hitched as Malfoy slid backwards, and Ron’s leg went further between his thighs - “the one they call the vertical expression of a...” Malfoy came upright again, panting a little, his face close to Ron’s. “Horizontal desire?”

A smile flashed on Malfoy’s pale face, and he pushed Ron backwards. Ron hit the marble wall with a soft oof, and Malfoy followed him instantly. Malfoy pressed his body against Ron’s, his eyes bright, and Ron felt his arousal.

Malfoy licked his lips. Ron considered licking them too.

“Who said it had to be horizontal?”

Title: Creature of the Night
Word count: 400
Rating: R
Summary: Even being a vampire hasn’t made a dent in Weasley’s essential wholesomeness. Probably.
Warnings: vampire!Ron
Author’s Notes: This was written for teenageworrier's prompt vampire.


Draco sniggered. “You’re a vampire?”

“I am,” Weasley said coolly.

“A vampire with freckles?” Draco burst out laughing. “Your swooshy black cape doesn’t even fit!”

“I got it second-hand,” Weasley mumbled, fidgeting.

Draco burst into fresh peals of laughter. Which tailed off when he noticed Weasley was staring at him with unsettling focus, and that Weasley’s fangs were visible between those distracting lips.

“You want me to prove I’m a good vampire?” Weasley said, stepping forward. Draco took a step backwards without thinking, then cursed himself. Weasley smiled, exposing his fangs. “Maybe I should show you my big, healthy Weasley appetite.”

Even being a vampire hadn’t made a dent in Weasley’s essential wholesomeness, Draco told himself, trying to ignore his racing heart. He should not be hitting Draco’s vampire kink in any way at all. He wasn’t tall, dark or handsome - well, he wasn’t dark, anyway -

“I can smell arousal, you know,” murmured Weasley.

Draco gave him one frightened glance, then fled.

Weasley caught him immediately, throwing him against a wall. “Hooligan! I’ll be bruised later.”

“You certainly will be.” Weasley’s bright blue eyes had slitted pupils, and they were watching Draco’s pulse jump in his neck.

Draco shut his eyes. The rasping sound of his breath only emphasised that Weasley wasn’t breathing at all. “Are you... you wouldn’t kill me.”

“Certainly not,” Weasley agreed. Draco felt the slight, shuddery scrape of a fang down the sensitive skin of his neck. Weasley’s tongue flickered out to taste his skin for a moment. “Might bite you, though.”

Draco opened his eyes. “You can’t - !”

He gave one long groan, going limp in Weasley’s arms, as Weasley sank his fangs into Draco’s throat.

Draco raged at himself inside: swooning in Weasley’s arms! He was no pallid blond virgin. Well, not a virgin, anyway. But the bite was blinding, erotic, agonising - and his legs were parting.

Weasley slid his thigh between Draco’s, rubbing it against Draco’s hard cock. Draco wheezed, moaning and clutching at Weasley’s shoulders helplessly as Weasley rubbed and sucked and brought Draco inescapably to orgasm.

Weasley withdrew his teeth, drawing another pained gasp from Draco.

“See? I found you on a dark night and bit you and you came because of my dark sexual power. I am a great vampire!”

Silence, except for Draco’s laboured breathing.

“I am!” insisted Weasley. He poked Draco. “I am!”


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Comments 
7th-Apr-2011 10:01 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD I ADORE THESE

“I am!” insisted Weasley. He poked Draco. “I am!”

[DED from laughing]
7th-Apr-2011 08:28 pm (UTC)
:DDD Thanks!

Uncool vampires just please me so!
7th-Apr-2011 12:03 pm (UTC)
Haha, these are great!
7th-Apr-2011 08:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
7th-Apr-2011 01:57 pm (UTC)
*Le reads them all while having breakfast* ^.^ <3 I'm so glad we have you for a writer! These are real beauties! Cuties, actually.
7th-Apr-2011 08:31 pm (UTC)
Awww - thank you!
7th-Apr-2011 04:48 pm (UTC)
Oh, these are so much fun! You write the best Ron/Draco dynamic.
7th-Apr-2011 08:30 pm (UTC)
*beams* Thank you!
7th-Apr-2011 04:51 pm (UTC)
I love the dancing one and the vampire one. Especially Ron being embarrassed that his cape was second hand. How so adorable Ron? HOW?

(Want another prompt? A completely ridiculous, off the wall stupid prompt with potential for hilarity?)
7th-Apr-2011 08:30 pm (UTC)
Hee, thank you! Uncool vampires are just adorable.

YES OF COURSE
8th-Apr-2011 01:25 pm (UTC)
It reminded me slightly of Spike's monologue as he watches Angel..."I'm just a big fluffy puppy dog with bad teeth" HE IS A BIG FLUFFY PUPPY. HE JUST NEEDS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY DAMMNIT. HE'S A VAMPIRE NOW. VAMPIRES ARE BADASS.



(Spell goes awry? Pure bloods can do this apparently?)
18th-Apr-2011 01:07 am (UTC)
Totally! Aww poor Ron. I AM HARDCORE NOW!

*dies of lol* That is AMAZING. Especially your explanation for it. That would be even funnier if it was Harry/Draco. "What? Purebloods have detachable penises. Did you not know this? Did McGonagall not cover this in sex ed?" And he's waving it around the whole time and Harry's just like 0.0
18th-Apr-2011 09:37 am (UTC)
It could be so useful! Draco could leave it at home when Harry is there, and he could think it just a very very realistic toy.........

I got the idea (and the song) from here

Spock gets all kinds of strange penis adventures in fandom. Retractable is the most common I think, but I have people on my f-list who have many "WHAT THE HELL DO VULCANS HAVE IN THEIR TROUSERS ANYWAY" stories. Which are always fun.

If you wrote this (I know you're under a mountain of work, but I shall sit here and make puppy dog eyes at you) it would make me unbelievably happy.
19th-Apr-2011 04:30 am (UTC)
LOL. Great link!

HEHEHEHE. Aliens do add that je ne sais quoi to one's fandom experience...

:( Laptop is still dead and looking unlikely to be revived. It has around 4000k of essay in it as well as notes that are not backed up (my own fault, but... ow.) So right now I have no time for detachable penii :((

BUT. I am adding it to my Writing Notebook file. YOU NEVER KNOW.
19th-Apr-2011 05:54 pm (UTC)
I've had discussions with some of my f-list about alien peen. It's fun. And I love that macro story, the expressions are just dead on.

Oh noes! I hope you get your dissertation off it at least. As an attempt to procrastinate with my own essays I might have a bash at it.

Also are you going to this? I was thinking about it...might run into you.
24th-Apr-2011 01:35 pm (UTC)
Totally :)

I got my stuff! Laptop is fixed and contains a shiny new hard drive, with only my icons folder missing, I think. Could be so much worse!

I am not! Sorry for the late reply - halfway through is not a good time to reply! I went last year but Diacon Alley is where my con-money is going this year. Sides, it was - I had fun and there were free books but it's quite sci-fi centric, and I am just so much about the wizards and not the spaceships :D
24th-Apr-2011 06:25 pm (UTC)
Hurray for getting work back! I have no computer issues but am being steamrolled by work rn.

haha no worries, been trying to do work but failing terribly so didn't end up going. Yeah I get that, I did London Comic Con last year and it was kind of a let down. I do love sci-fi, not just because of cool technology, but the hope of the future! (When the creator of Star Trek wanted Patrick Stewart the network said they would have found a cure for baldness by then. He said they wouldn't care by then)

Although on the wizards-side, I started The Lives Of Christopher Chant last night! Just got to the part where uncle Ralph is testing his dream trances. Really liking it so far. :D
7th-Apr-2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
How cute and sexy is this and the last line of the Vampire drabble *g*

Edited at 2011-04-07 05:37 pm (UTC)
7th-Apr-2011 08:29 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you!
8th-Apr-2011 03:47 am (UTC)
I loved all of these!

The last one made me giggle. :} And I loved Draco seducing Ron with dance.
9th-Apr-2011 02:53 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you so much!

Heh. Writing Draco as a sexy dance teacher was fun.
12th-Apr-2011 02:05 pm (UTC)
Great drabbles! Especially the last one... I don't think I've ever read Vampire!Ron before - it's genius! ;D
15th-Apr-2011 12:16 am (UTC)
Heh, thanks! I loved the idea of vampire!Ron, he's so lacking in all those archetypal vamp qualities.
24th-Apr-2013 11:08 am (UTC)
Oh GOD! I am dying of laughter. *gaps for breath*

“I am!” insisted Weasley. He poked Draco. “I am!”

BWAHAHAHA....oh Ron. Yes, you are *coos at him*

HOW did you make a vampire cute?!

Oh, right...its Ron. So much LOVE for this!
25th-Apr-2013 05:24 am (UTC)
Haha, thanks! Ron is always cute, even when he's trying to be a metaphor for aristocratic sexual predation :D
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