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Lokifan
I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
Meeting The Parents 
15th-May-2008 07:58 pm
Converse: black
Title: Meeting The Parents
Word count: 100
Disclaimer: The boys belong to JKR, even though I'm often nicer to them than she is.
Author's Notes: Written for hd100's challenge Narcissa.



Harry stood on Malfoy Manor’s doorstep, conducting a staring match with an albino peacock. It looked angry. Lucius probably trained the peacocks to kill Draco’s boyfriends –

The front door opened. “Potter.” Harry gulped and followed Lucius into his study.

Silence. Lucius regarded him coolly. Harry had to control a hysterical urge to say I’ve licked your son’s nipples.

“So. What are your... intentions regarding Draco?”

Harry reminded himself that if he hyperventilated, he’d faint and then Lucius would feed him to the killer peacocks.

Suddenly the door swung open, and two beautiful blonds entered.

“Harry, hello!”

Thank God for Narcissa.


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Comments 
16th-May-2008 05:42 am (UTC)
This is adorable!
16th-May-2008 08:52 am (UTC)
:d Thanks!
24th-May-2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
i adore! *squishes too tight*

Harry stood on Malfoy Manor’s doorstep, conducting a staring match with an albino peacock. It looked angry. Lucius probably trained the peacocks to kill Draco’s boyfriends –

*snort*

Harry had to control a hysterical urge to say I’ve licked your son’s nipples.

*double snort*
24th-May-2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
I'm glad it made you laugh! Comedy is bestest ever.

Thanks for friending me, btw, and all the comments. *feels special*
3rd-Jul-2008 12:55 pm (UTC)
Oh that is awesome!

Harry had to control a hysterical urge to say I’ve licked your son’s nipples. - Perhaps the best line in fandom!

And the peacocks... OMG Harry the hero scared of peacocks! Can this drabble be anymore made of win?
3rd-Jul-2008 02:42 pm (UTC)
*glomps* I love comments for older stuff!

Perhaps the best line in fandom!

:dd *glows* Thank you!

OMG Harry the hero scared of peacocks!

*mouth twitches* Hey, peacocks are scary. Lucius has taught him that 'v blond + haughty' is to be feared!
4th-Jul-2008 04:54 am (UTC)
Yes! Ever since reading this fic I thought this nipples line was so familiar and I finally remembered where it's from. XKCD! Either you did this unintentionally and share brainwaves with Randall Munroe or you are a fan such as myself and have appropriatedly inserted it. In case you have no idea what I'm talking about I've supplied a link so you know I'm not completely insane. http://www.xkcd.com/275/ (I was only off by 13 when I started looking for the comic! Woo sixth sense!)
By the way. I utterly loved this one. And I was kinda hoping Harry would blurt it out. XD
5th-Jul-2008 10:10 am (UTC)
I do actually read (and love) xkcd, but I wasn't referring to that one. Unless I have seen it before, and I just forgot... *bites lip* Hmm.

I utterly loved this one. And I was kinda hoping Harry would blurt it out.

Yay! This pleases me, even if you are obviously a terrible person! :d
18th-Sep-2015 12:22 pm (UTC)
This is so funny! I can actually picture Harry being totally embarassed and Lucius being merciless. I really like the idea of Harry interacting with the whole Malfoy family.
18th-Sep-2015 01:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you :D Harry and the Malfoys is one of the great delights of H/D fic, I think, pretty much however it's played! Jennavere's The Veela Enigma (which I'm sure I recced to you already, it's one of my absolute favourites) makes me laugh out loud repeatedly every time Harry and Lucius share a scene!!!
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