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I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
My struggles 
2nd-Apr-2017 12:22 pm
Converse: black
So, there’s this girl.

No wait, more context.

She’s the childhood bestie of one of my best friends, who I met at uni. She’s an enormously clever, funny ex-lawyer social worker and we’ve always got on really well. She’s also straight, which is relevant to this story. She came to my and my BFF’s joint birthday thing and we had a great chat, and she was wearing this top with SO. MUCH. CLEAVAGE. At some point:

LOKI (muttering): I don't want to be a perv but I keep staring at her boobs.
VIOLET (murmuring): I know. The short hair and the leather jacket is confusing.
LOKI: *nods passionately*

That, kids, is why empathy from Sapphic girls is so important.

And I feel bad, like I’m buying into stereotypes, because man. I was never attracted to her at all before, although she was pretty, but she just put a picture up on Facebook and she’s gone EVEN SHORTER except for some strands at the front and she’s got messy kohl eyeliner and two little black plugs in her ear!!!

This is so unfair.

In other news, am at that annoying stage of illness where I feel more-or-less okay, but it’s unclear if that will still be the case if I actually do anything. I kind of want to go to the gym - I haven’t been in weeks and do rather enjoy it - but also I worry I’d cough all over everything the second I started panting. So instead I’m eating ice cream while I rewatch Youtubers playing My Horse Prince, which is a dating sim about a girl in love with a human-faced horse.

This was originally posted at http://lokifan.dreamwidth.org/358746.html. Comment wherever you like :)
2nd-Apr-2017 12:59 pm (UTC)
BOOBS ARE GREAT AND SHORT HAIR ARE GREAT. I faced kinda the same issue when I cut my hair very short - Emma Watson short. Apparently a girl with short hair gives "mixed signals" or something, but I truly did not know at the time.

Aww, I think I'm getting the cold myself so *sick sis fist*.

2nd-Apr-2017 01:25 pm (UTC)
Woops anon was me I was logged in -.-
2nd-Apr-2017 10:49 pm (UTC)
Well "fuck your stereotypes" EXACTLY. I think women (& people in general) should be able to style themselves as they choose! I feel faintly guilty that a butch woman, even when I know her well enough to know she's straight, automatically gets me like eyeing her in a new way. Like I was SUPER INTO Emma Watson with short hair.

But it is still true that masculine/butch reads as queer, and like, there's a lot that's valuable there that I wouldn't want to go away. IDK. I mean I have the struggle in the opposite way cos I'm femme.
2nd-Apr-2017 10:51 pm (UTC)
I mean I wouldn't say "mixed signals" exactly, but like. It's definitely relevant if I'm trying to work out a girl's sexuality, and... I was super into short-haired!Emma Watson and only her. Even though I looooove femme women as well I do think short hair is a common enough signal of queerness that it flips a switch in my brain where I'm more likely to be like, "hmm possible match???"

*fistbumps via internet so as to not spread germs*
2nd-Apr-2017 01:52 pm (UTC)
You're not a pervert, doll. I hope you were 100% joking about feeling that way, because our culture loves to make us feel ashamed of our desires. Sapphic women do not and cannot deploy the ''male gaze." You're not objectifying or demeaning her by being attracted to her.

Also, her style changes could be an outward manifestation of an inner shift toward Sapphic attraction, even if she's not yet ready to identify that way. I cut my hair short and started dressing a lot more butch in the year before I realized I was bi. Just saying that you never know. ;-)
2nd-Apr-2017 10:55 pm (UTC)
Aww. Well, I was mostly kidding! And consciously I don't think there's anything wrong with it, I just feel a bit weird about being simultaneously EVERYBODY CAN DRESS/STYLE THEMSELVES AS THEY LIKE FUCK GENDER ROLES and having women who have those little signals of queerness flip a switch in my head - I was solely attracted to Emma Watson when she had short hair, too :) And this is despite being all about femme women too, and spending a great deal of my time in gay clubs being like NOPE I'M NOT SOME DUDE'S STRAIGHT FRIEND I AM 100% DTF WOMEN and raging about not getting read as queer cos I'm femme.

Haha, that is true! Although she's engaged so prolly not relevant :)
2nd-Apr-2017 06:26 pm (UTC)
A human-faced horse?!

2nd-Apr-2017 10:45 pm (UTC)
It's so ridiculous and SO HILARIOUS. And a bit creepy. Youtube "Dan and Phil My Horse Prince" to experience the magic :D :D :D
2nd-Apr-2017 09:37 pm (UTC)
Oh the confusion. I know the confusion. My queer-dar is often wonky (not that I actually tend to put it to use), especially when trying to identify if people I am attracted to might be at least theoretically interested in my gender. Those would have all been clues in the yes column.
24th-May-2017 11:05 pm (UTC)
Belated comment but - yeah, exactly. What's even weirder is how, even though I'm also super into femme women and even when I know she's straight, those signals of possible queerness still make her SO MUCH HOTTER to me.
4th-Apr-2017 04:42 am (UTC)
I MEAN, stereotypes and all that shouldn't be around and girls should be able to wear whatever and cut their hair in anyway without association. But we live in an imperfect society, where a lot of cues is still tied up to presentation and...yeah. Signals, or not signals? Verbalization is obviously a good way to clear the air, but that kind of gets awkward if you miss the mark and then you're backtracking because stereotypes.

That has got to be one of the weirdest dating sims ever. Weirder than the pigeon one, because it's actually cross-species. I guess you don't have to worry about mounting, at least?
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