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Lokifan
I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
Harry/Draco haiku 
9th-Sep-2008 05:54 am
Converse: black
enchanted_jae just made a comm for Potter poetry: poetic_hp. I made the inaugural post! :d No fake-cuts, in honour of it being first post, but I'm still posting here.

Harry/Draco haiku

I like him angry;
He pounds me into the ground.
(Yes, I mean that way)

It’s deliberate.
It still works. I bite him – not
A good punishment.

~*~

Molly Weasley knows
All I did. But fucking him still
Makes her like me less.

Narcissa likes me –
I protect him. As for Lucius...
Let’s not discuss it.

~*~

I tried poetry –
‘I love you’ in person is hard.
But I tore it up.

He doesn’t say it.
I don’t care. Sometimes I do.
I think he can tell.

~*~

I got a tattoo.
‘Harry’. No regret. I put it
Over my other Mark.

He got a tattoo.
I’m shocked, but at least this one
Can be worn with pride.


joomla visitor

Comments 
9th-Sep-2008 10:05 am (UTC)
*__* Ooh. I like how it's told from both sides too. <333
12th-Sep-2008 02:58 pm (UTC)
:d Thanks! I didn't think of doing it from both sides until I started writing, but I liked that too.
9th-Sep-2008 01:25 pm (UTC)
I read them as abstract moments. I loved them, especially the second last one.

Then I realised they were pairs and I loved them more.

Then I realised they were progressive and I loved them even more. Lovely, compelling work.

But I can't help wanting one more because I don't think Harry gets it yet.
12th-Sep-2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
Lovely, compelling work.

Thanks so much! I really loved this comment. And the second last one's my favourite too.

I tried adding one more, because I think you're absolutely right. That became eleven more haiku per boy, so what I can only describe as a sequel in verse is now up!
9th-Sep-2008 03:14 pm (UTC)
These are great. My favourite is the Narcissa and Lucius one.
12th-Sep-2008 02:59 pm (UTC)
*grins* Narcissa and Lucius are awesome, aren't they?
9th-Sep-2008 05:15 pm (UTC)
You are a nerd and I love you madly.

I also love these, especially the way they're not sweet - they give hints of a rather messed-up relationship - and yet they still make my heart clench. Oh, those silly boys!
12th-Sep-2008 03:00 pm (UTC)
OMG THAT ICON.

I love you too, even though you call me a nerd. It's only the truth! And yes, the boys are silly, and messed up. Still, check my newest post, should you want a happy ending.

Edited at 2008-09-12 06:15 pm (UTC)
13th-Sep-2008 08:34 am (UTC)
I'm usually not a big haiku fan (which is ironic considering how much I love other aspects of Japanese culture), but I really like the way you connected them all. And the first part is very sexy in a short amount of words. "I like him angry." That could work from either point of view...
18th-Sep-2008 08:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I appreciate the comment even more since you're not a big haiku fan. Haiku!smut is awesome to write, though. And yep, I reckon both boys like the other angry. Draco pissing Harry off so he can get fucked roughly is my preferred version, though. :d
18th-Sep-2008 09:12 pm (UTC)
You're welcome, and I wholeheartedly agree. ^_~
21st-Sep-2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful! The progression is just right and I like how the alternating viewpoints don't become apparent until the end. Haikus are not often used so well. Great job!
20th-Oct-2008 10:21 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm very flattered.
18th-Sep-2015 12:45 am (UTC)
AMAZING. I love how their passion is like a constant fight and in the end Draco just goes "fuck everything" and gets a tattoo because HARRY IS HIS OTHER TURNING PAGE IN LIFE.

Well done!
18th-Sep-2015 11:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Oh, what a beautiful way to put it :D
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