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I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
I Had Him 
21st-Feb-2010 11:44 am
Converse: black
Title: I Had Him
Word count: 200
Characters/pairings: Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny
Rating: G
Warnings: first person POV, angst
Disclaimer: The boys belong to JKR, even though I’m often much nicer to them than she is.
Author’s Notes: This was written for dracoharry100’s current challenge, which is lose.

You can’t lose what you never had. That’s what Harry said when he told me he was marrying her. He said he wasn’t leaving me, because we’d never been together: not really, not in the light of the world. He kept repeating the words, finding new ways to say I had no claim on him; I had no right to look at him the way I did, my face screwed up and my throat raw with the sobs I was choking back.

He didn’t mean to be cruel. He was trying to ease his own pain, his sense of infidelity.


At the time, of course, I was too angry (desperate, hurt, desolate) to see that. I shouted at him to get out in a voice that didn’t sound like mine and he stumbled to the Floo. I kept screaming for him to go for long minutes after he’d gone.

Today I saw him with his fiancée. I stood still for a moment, caught, and his hungry eyes flickered to mine. He looked at me when she was talking to him, when I was pretending not to care.

Harry was right: it’s not possible for me to lose him. Not really.

joomla visitor

21st-Feb-2010 02:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, how wrenching!!

Fabulous angst. ♥
22nd-Feb-2010 08:19 am (UTC)
:) Thank you!
21st-Feb-2010 03:10 pm (UTC)
Gsh. Those 200 words pack quite the punch. I loved it!
22nd-Feb-2010 08:21 am (UTC)
Those 200 words pack quite the punch

Thanks! This is why writing drabbles is so fun.
21st-Feb-2010 10:39 pm (UTC)
Ow, that hurts... Rings true, and painful, and the final line is perfect.

That said...



Happy Birthday!!! :)
22nd-Feb-2010 08:22 am (UTC)
:D Thanks!

*hugs back* Thank you! My birthday weekend has been MADE OF BRILLIANT.
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